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Just back from L.A. Monday afternoon… got up at 4:50 a.m. to catch the early flight and went straight to the office. I’m very pleased I left a day before the earthquake. Someone might have made a joke that I fell down and registered a 5.8.

The Spaceland show was a lot of fun. The attendance was a little more sparse than last time (February), but still much better than I’m used to and a lot of fun overall. Thanks to Amy and Gina, Sebastian, and Drumwild and Junior for coming out. The set went quite well, especially the Dice stuff that I had been worried about. Three open mics a week have helped. Now, after my confidence pretty much went down the shitter last May, I have built it back up somewhat. The regular jokes are still pretty formulaic and predictable, but they’re also kinda funny sometimes, in the right situation.

The rest of the show was excellent with:

– The Abe Lincoln Story (a nine-piece band!) The video below is from a previous Spaceland visit…

–The hilarious, extremely off-beat Ron Lynch (we both recalled that we met last fall at the Lakeshore Theater in Chicago)

–Rock master J.P. Hasson the American Sheriff (shown below as half of Pleaseeasaur)…

–And, of course, Neil Hamburger. He didn’t do any country singing, but this clip was too good to pass up.

News flash: Neil has a new CD coming out in the fall with cover art by one of my all-time favorite musical icons (who is also an accomplished artist)… I will leave the artist’s name out so that Mr. Hamburger can have the scoop, but let’s just say I never fail to be impressed by the talent level of people drawn to work with him (Tenacious D, Tim and Eric, Tom Green, Jimmy Kimmel, and now this person). Good luck sir.

I also had a really good time at Doug Stanhope’s shows Friday and Saturday at the Downtown Comedy Club. Three shows were all sold out in advance and many Panamints made the journey. Sean Rouse was the feature, and the host was Garrett Morris of the original Saturday Night Live cast, a part owner of the club. I spent a lot of time chatting with him in the wings both nights; what a terrific guy. He absolutely loved Sean and Doug, and was overheard saying that it was the best show they had ever had at the club. I was really impressed with Mr. Morris.

Sean had some really strong new stuff on war-vs.-global warming, wind farming and fatherhood. And Doug, once again, had practically an all-new set with stuff on quitting smoking, why people suck, health and age, overpopulation, etc. It’s too bad I have such a thin skin because he could probably include me as an example of shitheadedness in some of these bits. From what I could tell through past observation, these bits are about 60 percent worked out in Doug’s mind. The punch lines are big and great and the setup patter is coming together pretty well. The logic and likability he projects — despite the often brutal subject matter — is pure, one-of-a-kind Stanhope.

Also in the crowd over the weekend were NBA great Kevin Willis, Family Ties stroke-off instigator Justine Bateman (actually I didn’t start to whack it to her till she played bra-less bass in that movie ‘Satisfaction’), and Richard Pryor’s widow. Each one is a fan of Doug’s. I didn’t think to talk to any of them because I was having more than enough fun with other friends there, such as Shawcroft (who couldn’t decide if I was an asshole or a dick until she decided I was mostly both), Costa Rica Kevin, and others including those mentioned above.

Also I threw caution to the wind last week and e-mailed an invite to Kim Shattuck, leader of one of my favorite bands, The Muffs, to come to the Spaceland show. (Someone mentioned they thought she lived nearby). Even though she was out of town and couldn’t make it, she was nice enough to respond, and that was fun to see.

I’ve received a pity invitation to do some time at Neil Hamburger’s monthly show at Spaceland in Los Angeles. The show is 9 p.m. sharp Sunday, July 27 at the great Los Angeles rock club Spaceland, located in ultra-hip Silverlake.

Here’s a link to the show flyer.
I’m first up on the bill with two terrific music-based groups: The Abe Lincoln Story
and American Sheriff featuring J.P. Hasson of the incredible comedy/music/multimedia sensation Pleaseeasaur. The feature is stage and TV veteran Ron Lynch of the comedy duo The Idiots. The headliner, of course, is Neil Hamburger.

Come September, Neil Hamburger will be paying a visit to Wisconsin! Make sure you catch one or both of the shows.
He’ll be at the HIGH NOON SALOON in Madison on Wednesday, Sept. 10
and the CACTUS CLUB in Milwaukee on Thursday, Sept. 11.
Can’t miss these shows!

Why not? It gives me something to do on Wednesdays right near the house, and maybe I can help the Milwaukee comics build a little bit of a community and work together to get better and have fun. Plus I get to spew out some poison.

Journal Sentinel plans 10% work force reduction

Posted: July 2, 2008

Journal Sentinel Inc. said Wednesday it intends to cut its work force by about 10% to cope with a reduction in advertising revenue and rising operating costs.

The company, which publishes the Journal Sentinel, said it plans to accomplish the job reductions through buyouts, layoffs and attrition. The company is aiming to eliminate about 130 of its nearly 1,300 full-time equivalent employees.

The announcement comes about eight months after a first round of employee buyouts trimmed the work force by 56 people, or about 6%. Those buyouts, which were available to people with 10 or more years of service, are expected to save the company up to $4.3 million a year. The latest buyout round is open to all full-time employees.

Elizabeth Brenner, president and chief operating officer of the publishing group of Milwaukee-based Journal Communications Inc., said advertising customers — especially auto dealers, real estate agents, hiring officials, retailers and financial institutions — have been hit by “a ‘perfect storm’ of deteriorating credit conditions, slowing home sales, contracting company size and higher gas prices.”

Ad revenue through May is running 12% behind last year. At the same time, she said, newsprint and fuel prices are pushing up the cost of doing business.

Brenner said the company doesn’t have targeted job-cut numbers for Journal Sentinel Inc.’s various departments, including the roughly 250-person newsroom.

“It depends on which people come forward and apply for the voluntary program,” she said. “So after we see what the number is, then we go back and say, ‘OK, what are we left with? Where do we have to go?’ ”

Many newspapers around the U.S. have been reducing employees to deal with falling ad revenue as readers and advertisers move to the Internet for news and entertainment.

While newspaper Web sites, including the Journal Sentinel’s JSOnline.com, are attracting growing numbers of readers, advertising generated by newspaper Internet sites hasn’t been able to make up for the decrease in dollars from print editions.

There is absolutely nothing unusual, strange or spectacular about Wolski’s Tavern. Not a damn thing.

But it’s special, somehow. It’s easy to tell why. Marketing is one reason — the family that runs the joint knows how to market in a pervasive yet low-key way. But there’s another big reason. Let’s see if you can figure it out.

It’s a bar like any other, tucked in a terrific hiding spot along a residential area on the lower east side. The bar is on the left, there’s an open spot in the middle, tables along the walls. In back, you can step up into an area with a couple of pool tables and dartboards. Golden Tee and a pinball. That’s it.

The men’s room sink isn’t in the men’s room, it’s up against the wall in the bar room, next to the men’s room door. If you come out after taking a leak and don’t wash your hands, people are liable to yell and point to the sink and embarrass you.

The bartenders — it’s been the same crew for many years — give you free popcorn, mix a strong drink, and make the rounds with speed and precision. They don’t let you stay thirsty long. They run the stereo and play a good mix of music, depending on the type of crowd that’s there at the moment.

During the early hours of the night, the crowd is eclectic and mixed. Hippie eastsiders, professionals from downtown who are looking for some low-key relaxation, neighborhood people. It’s a favorite hangout of the cops. Visiting celebrities — musicians, athletes, politicians — often hit Wolski’s. There are lots of regulars. LOTS of regulars. If you want to know the inside story on anyone or anything happening in Milwaukee, go to Wolski’s and ask somebody. The stories are tremendous. And even if you let two months go between trips, they’ll still remember your name and where you work. And they’ll also remember you if you were a douchebag on your last visit and tell you to watch your ass this time, buddy; I’ve seen that happen, too.

One of the bartenders was a recent recipient of the “Extreme Makeover” treatment, or whatever TV show it is where they come and remodel your house or makeover your wife, I couldn’t tell for sure. The episode just aired last week and everybody was giving him shit for his Macaulay Culkin impersonation when the big reveal came at the end of the show. Every time a movie is filmed here, there’s a Wolski’s scene. The place is Milwaukee famous.

Later on at night, the place might pack sardine-full with college kids, but cool college kids — the guys with their Dave Matthews and Phish faces and weird hats and hippie beards and the girls who take a pass on the designer clothing and have a laid-back air and a willingness to drink ‘em down and have a little fun. Us oldies never have a problem getting in or getting to the bar. The kids know they’re on our home turf.

Marketing is a key to the success of Wolski’s. Years and years and years ago, the owner printed up a cheap bumper sticker — “I Closed Wolski’s / Milw. Wis.” — and had a bouncer hand them out at bar time. You had to stay till the lights went on, but if you dawdled around too much, the stickers went away. Quite Pavlovian.

The idea took right off. People started making Wolski’s the last stop of the night, just for the sticker, and more and more of them got to like the friendly bartenders and the fair prices and the complete lack of pretense of the joint, and they came earlier and stayed longer.

More stickers followed:

– I’d Rather Be Wolskiing
– Wolski’s Tavern / Adventure, Danger, Romance
– Wolski’s Tavern / Eat Before You Come (Paulie the bartender says: “What? It means we don’t have food, what do you think it means?”)

People started to bring in photos of the “I Closed Wolski’s” sticker in strange places all around the world. One brought his sticker to Tibet on a mountain climb. They’ve got pictures from every continent, I think somebody said last year that an Antarctica finally came in. Someday a Wolski’s regular will be an astronaut and take it to the moon. (Note to self: Photoshop an ‘I Closed Wolski’s’ sign onto the photo of Neil Armstrong holding the flag on the moon. I will get a free beer that night.)

My newspaper did an editorial cartoon when the Polish Pope visited Milwaukee. Interviewer: “Did you accomplish everything you hoped for on your Milwaukee visit?” Pope: “Yes. I closed Wolski’s.”

Someone made a special batch of “I Blessed Wolski’s” stickers for that visit. Father Luke posed for a photo with the last remaining one.

Now there are T-shirts, sweatshirts, bowling shirts, sweatpants, hats, panties, mugs, bottle openers, and the latest is a bandanna with little “I Closed Wolski’s” all over it.

One of my work buddies is the long-running “Customer of the Year” at Wolski’s. He’s 6-5, a former University of Wisconsin swimmer now bulky and big and definitely a guy you want in your corner when trouble brews. He’s there always, so much so that we joke he has a key. He pours his own shots and breaks up fights and hangs around after bar time to restock the coolers (wink wink). And he looks like a brother to everyone in the owners’ family — big galoot with a constant smile, Leinenkugel’s in hand, quick with a joke or a rip, always having fun. It’s a little bit of a ride from downtown, but every once in a while we decide to go to Wolski’s after work, and I never miss those trips because that’s when I know the guys mean business.

The people who come in, who buy the shirts, who bring their friends, who introduce themselves to the bartenders and drink ‘em up and behave and have grown-up fun — young, old or otherwise — they make up the real secret of the place. They’ll never have to put a “No Douchebags” sign on the door because the douchebags understand. They stay away.

Sometimes simple is perfect, and that’s the success story of Wolski’s Tavern.